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Run No. 1124
Monday, 13-July-2009
Bastille Day R*n
Hares:Easy Access, Hash Hole, Sex in Wellies
Venue:Waterloo
Author:EZ Over
Scribe:With the lion watching our every move the whole pack headed off in the same
direction. A little worrying maybe to some as this was the direction the
hares arrived from – but all was good! With a fairly large pack - the
temptation of a free picnic bringing a larger than normal attendance – we
were off.

The “rather longer than foreseen” trail was set in glorious woodlands and
country-side – running through cornfields, small paths, potato patches - the
pack ran willy-nilly over false trail and true. (Get orrf my land!)

A true Bastille Day beer stop – held at Avenue Napoleon – was never so truly
welcomed by the profusely perspiring and extremely parched pack!

Despite some comments that we were due a big storm to clear the air, the
weather held and we were treated to a glorious sundown over the fields of
Waterloo.

With baguette, cheese and salami in hand, the GM called the unruly pack to
order and the circle commenced.

Before handing over to the RA the GM had a few down downs of her own to dish
out. First into the circle was Hash Hole for upsetting the Beermeister and
so very nearly having no beer for trail as the time scheduled for run was
listed as 15h00 on the website!! Next up came those who attended the
Delirium Café’s launch of a new beer which reached the British tabloids –
all Beer Uni students (Cock Trix, Ice Trix, EZ Over and But for What) were
invited to join.

The RA then proceeded to dish out appropriate DDs as follows (note that the
DDs are in no particular order and written with a hint of poetic licence ie
brain in true Grimbergen brune mode):

Easy Access – violation of rule n°1 (No Poofters) for changing his shirt at
least three times!

Hares – usual comments regarding no prostitutes, free protein for the number
of flies consumed on trail, Puss in Boots joined them for the WC sign.
Particularly noteworthy was the absence of Easy Access on trail of whom
there was not one sighting – only to be found asleep in his car when the
pack got to the end of trail!!!

Miss Mozambique – for being an FRB (ie if the RA can’t see you then you must
be way in front of him!) Melons joined her for also being very “forward”. Mr
C for being a FRC (front running chicken) and apparently doing trail
half-cocked!

Half Monty – for gross attention seeking. Not only did he run trail but also
added his own extra loops, “slalom” style. Bonus points though for getting
out the latest in the trouser snake collection.

TCM – for wearing the proper French colours (dressed all in white to
resemble the national flag!)

Mick Mac – comment of the day “Is there someone who *hasn’t* got a dog?”;
also for shortcutting and getting lost on trail. Rumour has it that he got
the bus but in his defense he did claim that a very large dog would not
allow him to pass!!

Scoobi-dua – as the only resident canine was called to the circle for all
the fat Belgian bitches. TCM joined her for trying to race said bitch to the
beer stop.

Mangina, Sex in Wellies and Sex Goddess – for superfluous facial muff . . .
Just Bex joined them for apparent grooming and nit-picking abilities.

Just Pete and Just Dave were called to the circle as this weeks visiting
hashers and Sex Goddess of course for making them cum! It’s a family affair.
This led to much calling of “when one Warren drinks . . .”

Scoobi-dua, Mussels – something to do with a Scottish company selling
mussels to Belgium. TCM for eating Scottish clam!!

A vicious rumour had reached the ears of the RA . . . someone, somewhere had
been intent on putting fingers in bottom holes. The RA was most insistent
that if news of this practice was to reach his ears in the future, very
large DDs would be forthcoming. This, of course, led to a riotous chorus of
“How would you like . . . my finger in your REAR!”

There was also something to do with a Belgian/French history lesson and who
was (or wasn’t) on the winning side – Mussels, Rhythm Stick, Easy Access
were all presented with a DD. Lots of singing of “A Frenchman went to the
lavatory . . .” at this point

The RA opened up the circle . . . Ice Trix brought up that "famous" Belgian
DD of Beergauffre (based on the concept of Speculoos ice-cream) and awarded
this special treat to Sex in Wellies and Yoga Porn.

Half Monty and Yoga Porn – for scratching!! At this point the circle
deteriorated with the singing of the hash version of the infamous Safety
Dance song (courtesy of Yarksucker).

Mussels – for false accusation (he thought that not everybody had been
called into the circle).

Easy Access and Half Monty (the French and half-French) joined the GM in the
circle for the hash hymn (although Easy Access thought she meant La
Brabançonne and had to be hushed up).

Remember: Why spoil a good story with the truth?

On On

 

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